Sometimes you have to be done with it....

There are many things that I cannot change... things that are beyond my control.  I really like to be in control, not necessarily controlling the situation, I just like to be behind the scenes calling the shots.  

2 years ago when I started this journey, before everyone knew, I really thought that there would be a much different outcome.  And even though I don't want to be, I am sitting on the edge of making the decision that things will not turn out differently.  I put my faith in prayer, I have said a prayer for it every night, and every time it is the same.  In 2 years I have been through a lot.

I'm not really sure what I am looking for anymore, I don't feel like there is an answer anywhere.  I am so hopeful for this new doctor, but am I setting my hopes too high?

2 weeks...  How long is that to you?  If every second mattered, than a week is etrinity.  2 weeks is how long my old doctor's office had Hubby's results without letting me know.  I called them, they said oh we will call back... 2 weeks... you had them for two weeks.  And when I do get the results you can't even give me a number?  Saying that is something that a urologist is going to have to go over with you.  How do I even know if I want to go there if I don't have a number?  How do I know that this is going to work if you are now saying that you don't want me to have my test done too?  Why are you doing this to me?  I called there again to have my records faxed to another doctor's office... oh you need to sign a paper....  slince....  okay thanks for calling... goodbye... I mean can I come in and do that today???  

I really believe that once I am no longer a patient at BLUE RIDGE OBGYN IN CULPEPER, that I will have a big weight lifted off my chest.  I am on a mission now, more than ever to find a better doctor, one that is going to give me results and answers.

I recently went down and ugly turn.  I know this is going to sound horrible, but I told the Hubby that I wish, that I would have had a miscarriage...  Because in that doctor's office they only care about you if you have lost a baby, if you are pregnant, or if you need to have your who-ha looked at.  I am just another 30 something who wants a baby, and seems fine for all that they can see, so they are not trying to rush anything.  Who cares if I have been at this for 2 years... they had results for 2 weeks... Who cares if I have to play phone tag with them all the time... they will call me back when they want to....  

Now who cares if I bad mouth them every chance I get?  If I take to social media and internet surveys and ratings to bash the shit out of them??  Will they care then?  It will be too late if they care then.  I will be gone, and I will continue my mission to slam them every chance I get.  So, if you are in the Culpeper area, DO NOT use BLUE RIDGE OBGYN, you will thank me.  Trust me on this!!!