I guess I have a lot to say now... some of it I am uncomfortable with, but I am going to try and blog a little more than I have been. I miss it, and it helps me keep my sanity.
I'm Pregnant. This is still a shock. Lets back up just a little bit (almost 2 months to be exact, 3 months very soon gestational wise), and see where this all started.
On January 25th, after much back and forth from our IVF clinic we finally transferred ONE (looked to be hatching Embryo)!!!! In my mind, I wasn't sure that this was going to work. I don't think that this would really happen, my lining would not cooperate and after a very bad way to begin the New Year (one of my grandma's died on the 3rd of Jan and the other died on the 6th), I didn't know if I could go through it. But, the day came and we did it. I really like my RE. She is one of the nicest Doctors ever! When I was at my old clinic Doctors that you know did your transfer, at Shady Grove it is whoever is on duty. When we went for a our transfer, we had a Doctor scheduled, and you know that it makes my nerves crazy. The nurse checked us in, I got undressed and then she left the room, to get the Doctor and the transfer nurse. When they came in I almost screamed in excitement, it was my Doctor, Dr. Garde. I was so relieved. She cleared her schedule when she saw that we were on it, so that she could do our transfer. The transfer went well, I laid there for a few extra minutes just joking around with Mike. And of course I had to get up and pee. And then we went to get McDee's fries. (We were trying to eat at this Peruvian restaurant, but they didn't open until 4pm and since we had to wait in Rockville, MD and Mike hates the city... we decided to drive out of MD in rush hour!!!) No, there was no instant knowing that I was pregnant. Honestly I didn't think that I was pregnant. My boobs were pretty heavy, and I had a lot of heartburn, and then weird food habits. I POAS the day that we went for our first Beta test (Beta is what they test your blood for to see if you are pregnant), both were positive. Then you have to make it to Beta 2 and Beta 3. However, they don't tell you that you are pregnant until they see a heartbeat on a sonogram. So you have all these feelings and emotions and you hope and you pray and you ask the people that you have told not to tell anyone, because it can all change in one test... but nothing changed. Thank God!! We graduation from the IVF clinic on March 5th and the next day I had my first OB appointment. (I hate going to the Doctor, I don't like them. But my RE Dr. Garde and my OB Dr. Bell are two of my favorite people in this world. And that is a lot when it is coming from me!!!)
The Shots: (not the fun kind)
I have been taking shots in my bum since December 19th 2017, to say that my bum was sore was and over statement. I begged my OB to let me stop them. But, he said no. We were finally able to stop shots on March 17th. Thank you! Now I have lumps and bumps on my bum and the skin there is not the same from all the bandaids, I am not sure if my bum will ever go back to normal. But, I made it through. I can say I did that.
To say a little about what is going on. I have had "morning" sickness from about 2 weeks past transfer and still have it. Eating is a struggle, drinking is even harder. My OB gave me the morning sickness pill, but I don't really like to take a lot of medication, so I try not to take if I don't have to. This week has been the worst. There have been many times when I was positive that I was going to throw up. I haven't thank goodness. But, I have come really close. If I was complaining, which I said that I would not and so I won't, that would be what I would pick to complain about! I would like the throw up, so that the sensation of being nauseous all day would go away. But, I haven't so, I guess that I am not going to.
Other than that I feel pretty good. I am thankful for every single day that we are pregnant. It is the biggest blessing ever. I am just trying to enjoy all of that, even when people try to take that away from me. My body is slowly changing, and it is weird a scary all at the same time.
So I would like to answer a few more questions that I think that everyone has, I hope that this will clear up everything.
1. There is only one baby in there. If it was twins they would be sharing a lot and would be easily seen on the sonogram. Also we would have seen more heart beats. Just one baby!
2. Yes we are going to find out the gender. No we will not know. We have a friend that can keep a secret like no other. He is going to get the envelop. He will know. We will do a Co-ed gender party. He will go the reveal for us.
3. The baby will not be named until it is born. NO ONE will know it's name until it is born.
4. The baby will NOT be named after anyone in our families.
5. Mike and I have not made any decisions on any baby things. We aren't far enough along and we don't know what we are having, so we are waiting to decide. Once we do, there will be gift registry.
6. We are not totally comfortable talking about the baby yet. We have waited 6 years for this. It is hard to think that this is really happening. Yes we have had some time to try and come to terms with it, but there are things that we are not ready to talk about. Infertility is one of those things that can rob you of any happy feelings that you may have. We take it day by day. Don't push us, I promise that we will become more comfortable with it, it just takes time.
7. We are going to throw our own baby shower. This is something that we want to do.
I think that I have answered most of the questions that I keep getting asked. If I haven't I will try again. For right now this little one and I are trying to get to know each other. And I can't wait to meet him or her!!!
To anyone who is still waiting, I really am rooting for you. I know how it is to wait and wait. Keep up hope. I am praying and sending baby dust to you. Please know that you can do this. That this can work. Any of it can work. Much Love and Baby Dust.
