I have been bad a giving updates. I thought that I would blog throughout my entire pregnancy... But, we are less than 2 weeks away and I haven't done more than a handful of blogs. I am board on couch rest, and instead of Instagram, Facebook, and TV; which I am all VERY tired of already. I thought that I might try and put out something decent and maybe no offensive. Even though EVERY single time I do this now someone gets upset.
So let me try and update:
The week of the 27th of August, I wasn't feeling right. I don't know how to explain it, but I just thought that I needed to go and see my OB. I was going to go and see the regular doctor, but I know that they would have sent me to the OB's office anyways. So I woke up on Thursday of that week, and I called the office and they got me in. A sonogram and hooking up to an NST test... and my fluid levels are low. So, my OB is concerned because I am nearing the end of my pregnancy, and if I lose more fluid than I had, I could have cord compression and be in a world of hurt with the baby. He didn't want me to go back to work the next day, and I had to do some begging in order to go to my baby shower that Saturday. I was put on rest, but am a allowed to be up for about 2 hours a day. And I don't have to lay down. Which seems to be really working because when I went for my check this week, I have to go twice a week, I had more fluid. So, I really have been sitting on my butt, doing as little as possible, which is driving me crazy...
Right after I was put out of work and on couch-arrest, my nesting kicked in. I want to clean my house from top to bottom. I want to pick up, organize and put away. I'm not allowed to do any of that. Luckily, my mom came over and put together some freezer meals for me, some I could put in the crock pot and some the hub's cooks. And Mischa has been great. I mean he has been cleaning. And as long as I don't tell him that I am bossing him around, he will do more for me. I owe him big time.
Now I just feel like I don't have enough of anything for the baby. I feel like I need all this equipment and all these other things. But, really I probably don't need them, until she is here and we see what she likes and doesn't like. So, I am trying to stay off of online shopping. But, it is crazy tempting to buy everything at my finger tips.
Coming down to the end, I feel like it went quick, but I also feel like it went very slow. The first trimester was crazy. Not feeling good most of the time. And just trying to figure out what to eat and not be sick. The second trimester was weird. No more sickness, but lots of heart burn. And then some foods would make me throw up, and if I didn't eat by a decent time, then I was up all night with heart burn. Trying to stock up on different things for the baby, and get the house ready. Which, I don't think that my house will ever be 100% ready. And now this 3rd trimester, which is getting cut short by about 3 weeks. How do you slow down, when all you want to do is clean and not make messes?
I haven't hated being pregnant. It isn't that bad. But, it is in no way something I can say that I enjoy. Being pregnant during the summer is hot. I stayed inside for as much time as I could. I promised that I would not complain when I got pregnant. But, that is the only thing that I would complain about. I got heat rash twice. Something I have NEVER had. And I normally never say it is hot. But, I am pretty sure that I said that almost daily. I'd also like to go back to eating more normally and not skipping out on things like chicken wings, because they make me sick. Or eating spicy food, cause it makes me sick. I miss those things. I miss sushi too. But, it is all worth it.
One more thing...
I usually do pretty well on not telling people about this being and IVF baby. Once I got to a certain part of my pregnancy, I just didn't want to tell that story anymore. I have in no way beat infertility. I laugh when my OB asks me about what birth control I am going to use after the baby. And then, I forget that I actually have to think about it and answer him. But, twice in the last few weeks I have talked about it. It came out not meaning to. The first time was the nurse that gave me a shot. I don't even know how it came up.. other than she was talking about my shot. And she had given me the T-dapt shot before. Then, I couldn't stop. Even though in the back of my mind, I was saying stop, stop. The 2nd time were with the receptionists at the office. They asked if this was my first baby... and then Mischa said that I just kept volunteering more information. My plan is NOT to say anything about it at the hospital. I am not ashamed of it. But, I don't want to tell the story anymore. It is always going to be a part of me. It is a crippling fear that I have. It is always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It is a guard that I have put up, because it makes me feel better. The story of my life is nothing is ever normal. When I try to find that nice little quiet life, something makes an uproar. I have learned to walk through that fire, the burns are what is going to tell my story.
