Friday, November 14, 2014

Blogging before my appointment

What a couple of weeks it has been, I feel like I have been riding an emotional roller coaster and I can't get off when it stops at the station.  I'm not nervous about my appointment today, but I feel like I am not going to get an answer.  I also have been having the same dream for about two weeks now, and I wake up in tears, if not in tears, then taking a deep breath like, I have been holding it.  I know that my dream will not be true, I know that I cannot be that lucky.

I'm not sure if I want to tell you about my dream, it is a baby dream, but I don't want to share.  I had a great blog planned out, i wasn't going to talk about babies, just life... oh well.

Oh my gosh as I am watching this, I am watching "Gilmore Girls" where Sookie has a baby... UG!

Okay I need a new topic...

So I am sitting in my house looking at my Halloween decorations, that i am allowed to keep up until Christmas.  As I am looking, I don't want to change my decorations. But, I know that I will.  I don't want to change them because it is so pretty in here to me.  But, all good things must end.  Unless you have a Boxer, than good things never come to an end!

I was supposed to go to a Child care center today, and I was also supposed to stop by the office.  I really don't want to do either.  I am conflicted as to what to do.  My job is now offering a case that it 4 days a week for 6 hours, however... it's with an adult.  I don't have the greatest track record with these things.  I don't feel for these parents.  I try and I try, but I just don't have any sympathy.  I am still in shock at the outcome of a court case this week.  First of all, they lied, second of all, really???  I just can't get it.  It's bothering me more than I should, and I just can't let it go.  I think that families in most cases should be reunited, however I don't know that this was the best thing....

Okay, I am out of ideas for the blog for today.  I have my blood work at 4pm.  I am hoping that this is the last, before all the baby blood work that is needed.  I also hope for some answers.  If you are the praying type please pray.  If you are the sending ju-ju type please do.  And if you just want to send some happy thoughts, I'll take those too!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Big Hero 6

I'm not sure if I should begin this blog by complaining, or just talk about the title.  So, for this blog I will ditch the complaining and save it for another time.  (Considering it's 10 minutes before the Walking Dead.. and HOPEFULLY hubby is home in time; complaining takes too long!!)

Hubby and I went on a date last night.  Out to dinner and a movie, this is our usual.  We are kind of boring in that way, but we both really like movies and so that is what we do.  We went and saw the Disney movie "Big Hero 6."  (I know not everyone is on par with Disney movies and these days they get a lot of hate, but we enjoy them.)  We really enjoy the previews, infact they are MY fave.  I want to know what I have to look forward to seeing after I have seen this movie.  I like to plan ahead.  


Before the movie there was a short, most of the time they are funny or confusing.  (You know what I am talking about if you have seen the one with the chess player, who is playing by himself, I believe that one is before Ratatouille?!?!?)

To spoil it for you this one is about a dog, it is entitled, The Feast.  So basically, the puppy is on the street when a guy finds him, and gives him dog food with human food on top.  Guy takes pup home, which at first I thought was a Boxer puppy, but as the pup grows, it is clearly a Boston Terrier.  But the guy gives the puppy, "Winston" dog food and then puts cooked food on top.  Guy takes pup to restaurant, where Guy meets Girl.  Guy and girl fall in love, and girl does not give pup human food.  Instead she gives the pup parsley(??).  Which makes the pup said.  Then, girl breaks up with guy and he is very said.  Orders lots of take out food, pup gets food again and is super happy.  But, guy is very sad, until he orders spaghetti, and the pup finds parsley again and runs away to find the girl.  Guy and girl get married and pup is best man.  Then...

Cut to pup laying on the floor next to his dog dish... then a meat ball rolls on the floor.  And a tear down my cheek.  And another meatball... and another tear... and then you see the BABY in the high chair feeding the pup.  And then it goes on to have the BABY grow and then another BABY.  Oh yeah, there are many tears coming down my face.  Hubby offers pop corn to try and get to not to notice...

I let the floodgates go, all over a cartoon.  A 5 minute short film, with not a lot of sound.  I am bawling like a crazy women.  All I can think about are my dogs.  Mainly Jake, he is old, about to be 10.  I just hope that he can be around to enjoy our child.  Then I think of Abby, my Boxer and her short life span.  I want her to be there too.  I am such a mess.  All over a little short film.  To be fair, I have always cried over animals, sometimes humans.  But, not as much.  Dogs are my weakness.  I love them.  I just hope that they are around for my babies.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

PCOS: Update

On Monday of this week I went in for blood work.  I am a big sissy, it is not something that I can't hide.  I don't like needles, I don't think that anyone really says that they do, however I remember a time when I was a small child, I was overly emotional during a Dr's visit and I was literally screaming when this mean old lady (bitch of a nurse) leaned down and whispered in my ear, "If you don't hold still this needle will get stuck and I'll have to get another to get this one out."  Um, do you really think that is going to help me sit still?  Talk about a panic attack...  I have gotten a lot better since then.  I am still freaked out.  I still want someone to go with me.  I no longer throw a fit, and I have stopped crying from the moment I walk into the appointment until I leave.

Monday I went in for blood work.  The nurse said that results would be back in a week.  I was surprised when I got a call from Dr. M on Tuesday morning.  Dr. M is very sweet, she has a british accent, I could listen to her talk all day.  I LOVE british accents!!!  Dr. M said that my results were normal, according to my blood I don't have PCOS...  Okay then what do I do next?  I'm still not pregnant.  Dr. M says that she doesn't like to just give medication.  That she believes that I am young and healthy and that she wants to rule out everything before she just gives me medication.  So, Dr. M suggests ANOTHER blood test to check progestin levels. 

So on the 14th, I have to go in a get my blood checked again.  Because all these tests are about timing.  One test has to be conducted on the 3rd day of "my time," and another test has to be conducted on the 21st day of "my cycle."  Now, depending on this test will determine what the next plan of action is.  

Honestly I am hoping that it is my progestin levels, the pills that come along with those are not as harsh on my body.  They don't cause multiple babies.  The side effects are not that bad.  


Progesterone, a natural hormone that the body makes during pregnancy, has not caused problems. In fact, it is sometimes used in women to treat a certain type of infertility and to aid in egg donor or infertility procedures.

Other progestins have not been studied in pregnant women. Be sure to tell your doctor if you become pregnant while using any of the progestins. It is best to use some kind of birth control method while you are receiving progestins in high doses. High doses of progestins are not recommended for use during pregnancy since there have been some reports that they may cause birth defects in the genitals (sex organs) of a male fetus. Also, some of these progestins may cause male-like changes in a female fetus and female-like changes in a male fetus, but these problems usually can be reversed. Low doses of progestins, such as those doses used for contraception, have not caused major problems when used accidentally during pregnancy.

Side Effects

Drug information provided by: Micromedex
Along with their needed effects, progestins used in high doses sometimes cause some unwanted effects such as blood clots, heart attacks, and strokes, or problems of the liver and eyes. Although these effects are rare, some of them can be very serious and cause death. It is not clear if these problems are due to the progestin. They may be caused by the disease or condition for which progestins are being used.
The following side effects may be caused by blood clots. Although not all of these side effects may occur, if they do occur they need immediate medical attention.
Get emergency help immediately if any of the following side effects occur:


  1. Symptoms of blood clotting problems, usually severe or sudden, such as:
  2. headache or migraine
  3. loss of or change in speech, coordination, or vision
  4. numbness of or pain in chest, arm, or leg
  5. unexplained shortness of breath
Check with your doctor as soon as possible if any of the following side effects occur:

More common

  1. Changes in vaginal bleeding (increased amounts of menstrual bleeding occurring at regular monthly periods, lighter vaginal bleeding between menstrual periods, heavier vaginal bleeding between regular monthly periods, or stopping of menstrual periods)
  2. symptoms of blood sugar problems (dry mouth, frequent urination, loss of appetite, or unusual thirst)

Less common

  1. Mental depression
  2. skin rash
  3. unexpected or increased flow of breast milk


Some side effects may occur that usually do not need medical attention. These side effects may go away during treatment as your body adjusts to the medicine. Also, your health care professional may be able to tell you about ways to prevent or reduce some of these side effects. Check with your health care professional if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome or if you have any questions about them:

More common

  1. Abdominal pain or cramping
  2. bloating or swelling of ankles or feet
  3. blood pressure increase (mild)
  4. dizziness
  5. drowsiness (progesterone only)
  6. headache (mild)
  7. mood changes
  8. nervousness
  9. pain or irritation at place of injection site
  10. swelling of face, ankles, or feet
  11. unusual or rapid weight gain

Less common

  1. Acne
  2. breast pain or tenderness
  3. brown spots on exposed skin, possibly long-lasting
  4. hot flashes
  5. loss or gain of body, facial, or scalp hair
  6. loss of sexual desire
  7. trouble in sleeping
Not all of the side effects listed above have been reported for each of these medicines, but they have been reported for at least one of them. All of the progestins are similar, so any of the above side effects may occur with any of these medicines.

On another note, it's an answer.  And I think that I could live with this one.  Once again I ask for prayers.  I ask for friendship.  I also ask that you not ask me if I'm pregnant.  I promise that if you ask I won't get upset, but I don't want to answer.  I'm not struggling, I'm just waiting on answers!