Such a funny title...
But here goes nothing...
So, long ago I stuck my "feelers" out in the world. When I made it public that Mike and I were trying to have a baby (Emilia is here, we aren't trying now.. stop with that!!) and I wanted to make it public, so that I could find people that had this in common. It was hard, probably more frighting than going through infertility treatments... But, I did it. And here we are.
I have often felt alone in this journey. I know that there are more of us out there. But, sometimes we bond, and sometimes we don't. And then sometimes you make the bond and suddenly it's over and you are alone again. And then sometimes someone will support you, but won't support someone else doing the same thing. And you are alone again.
I put my "feelers" on paper this time, instead of out there for whoever to see. Why, am I saying this? Because, this time I feel bad about them. This time, I'm not looking for the common ground.
I know that I can be mean sometimes. I know that I come off harsh. But, I think that it is more guarded. For a long time, I didn't know what to do. There were more Dr's appointments than I had ever been too. There was more blood coming out of my body, and I wasn't sure if I was making enough to keep up. I was tired. I wanted to lay down on the couch and just stay there. I wanted to stay at home with my dogs. I just wanted to be me again.
I want to be the me without infertility. I want it to go away. (Not just for myself, but for others!!) I don't talk about it much. I try not to. But, for ANYONE reading this, what wants to talk about it... I'm here. I want to not have to take break from social media and being in contact with people, just to keep my sanity. I think people have forgotten how this whole thing changed my life. Which is great, but at the same time I am still sensitive to some things. Sometimes, I don't even know what I am sensitive to them. It isn't like I don't have this beautiful little girl running around the house! (I'll keep her!!!) So, before I get people all pissy... let me talk about that beautiful little thing.
I plan on making an 18 month update, but because I might not get to fit it all in, I will add it here.
I have heard a lot that Emilia is feisty. And I LOVE it. That is a really good way to describe her! She loves to roar, like a dinosaur, which she has been doing since her 10 month birthday. She chews on ice, I know that I did that a lot when I was younger, but I am not sure I did this young. She will NEVER pass up on a tomato, strawberry, mac and cheese, veggie straws, or Mcdees french fries (which she does NOT get a lot). She will sometimes hold her finger up and say 1. "If you're happy and you know," "Patty Cake," "Peekaboo," and giving lovings to the dogs are her favorite games. She also likes to clap her hands for "yay!" dance (The Backstreet Boys and Bob Sager are her faves) and throw up her hands for "touch down." We are currently reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets to her. But, she LOVES any book, and if the books have things to touch and pull or push she is in heaven. She can float, kick her feet, and blow bubbles in the pool! She LOVED dance/tumbling class (She bonded with Ms Sara right away!!!) she can't wait to go back. Finally, she is 100% a Daddy's girl. This isn't to say that she doesn't love me. But, Emilia will follow Mike around all day. Most of her kisses go to her Daddy. When he comes home from work (right now he is working from home) she will yell "Hi Daddy, Hi Daddy!!" And sometimes he can't walk to her first enough.
I am so glad that she is my baby. Yes I still call her my baby. I probably will forever!!!
Friday, March 20, 2020
Tuesday, March 10, 2020
Growth
There is a quote floating around the inter webs about growing at different rates. Or is it popping pop corn and not all of it pops? Yeah, shows you how much I pay attention.
17 months...
This time 2 years ago (March 8th 2018, to be exact) we had our first visit with the OB to fully confirm that we were pregnant. Mike and I weren't really going to share the news with many people other than family, and we didn't get to tell most of them. We were shocked... this day would be a yes. There that baby was.. the most beautiful tiny, little thing I have ever seen. Our first positive tests of any time. We did it.
Fast forward to now. I still can't believe that Emilia is real. Daily I have to pinch myself. And sometimes I don't think that we actually did it. That I went through shots, and a C-section. But, she is here.
Let me talk about her for a little bit. I want to give an 18 month update, but that has to wait until the end of the month. So, hopefully she does more by then! Emilia LOVES Dance. Music on the TV, in the car, you name it she is going to dance. So we are enrolled in a dance/gymnastics class. We have only had one class, so time will tell on where this is going. Mike and I wanted Emilia to have a water safety class. We like to swim and go to the beach, so it was naturally something we thought to do. Honestly, I didn't think that Emilia was going to get much from it. When we started she was 15 months old. We also thought that she might be the oldest in the class (turns out there is a boy who is 1 month older than her.) Emilia LOVES swimming. She can float on her back, blow bubbles, kick her feet to move, and she is really close to holding her breath to go under. It is crazy what she picks up on and how fast she does it. Her last swim class level 1 is this week, and then we will move on to level 2. I'm not sure if we will break or go to level 3.
Emilia has always been a babbler. From the time she knew how to do it at 3 months, she really hasn't stopped. I'm hoping that more words come quicker. Because now she is getting frustrated that we don't know all of what she is trying to say.
My girl is tall. So, I upgraded her pants to 18 months. Her swim suits are also 18 months. But, swim suits run small. Most of the pants are too big in her tummy. But, still a little long. I think that her growth is stabilizing a little bit. She is also becoming picky on her foods. Sometimes, she will not eat what we have. Sometimes, she decides that she only wants one thing that we are eating (always a fruit or veggie and she NEVER turns down fries.) She likes most foods, but when she doesn't like something she will through it up. Drama Queen for sure.
Okay, the rest I am going to leave for a 18 month update!
17 months...
This time 2 years ago (March 8th 2018, to be exact) we had our first visit with the OB to fully confirm that we were pregnant. Mike and I weren't really going to share the news with many people other than family, and we didn't get to tell most of them. We were shocked... this day would be a yes. There that baby was.. the most beautiful tiny, little thing I have ever seen. Our first positive tests of any time. We did it.
Fast forward to now. I still can't believe that Emilia is real. Daily I have to pinch myself. And sometimes I don't think that we actually did it. That I went through shots, and a C-section. But, she is here.
Let me talk about her for a little bit. I want to give an 18 month update, but that has to wait until the end of the month. So, hopefully she does more by then! Emilia LOVES Dance. Music on the TV, in the car, you name it she is going to dance. So we are enrolled in a dance/gymnastics class. We have only had one class, so time will tell on where this is going. Mike and I wanted Emilia to have a water safety class. We like to swim and go to the beach, so it was naturally something we thought to do. Honestly, I didn't think that Emilia was going to get much from it. When we started she was 15 months old. We also thought that she might be the oldest in the class (turns out there is a boy who is 1 month older than her.) Emilia LOVES swimming. She can float on her back, blow bubbles, kick her feet to move, and she is really close to holding her breath to go under. It is crazy what she picks up on and how fast she does it. Her last swim class level 1 is this week, and then we will move on to level 2. I'm not sure if we will break or go to level 3.
Emilia has always been a babbler. From the time she knew how to do it at 3 months, she really hasn't stopped. I'm hoping that more words come quicker. Because now she is getting frustrated that we don't know all of what she is trying to say.
My girl is tall. So, I upgraded her pants to 18 months. Her swim suits are also 18 months. But, swim suits run small. Most of the pants are too big in her tummy. But, still a little long. I think that her growth is stabilizing a little bit. She is also becoming picky on her foods. Sometimes, she will not eat what we have. Sometimes, she decides that she only wants one thing that we are eating (always a fruit or veggie and she NEVER turns down fries.) She likes most foods, but when she doesn't like something she will through it up. Drama Queen for sure.
Okay, the rest I am going to leave for a 18 month update!
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