Friday, December 19, 2014

I make a horrible Friend....

I am not the best friend that you could ask for, I am the friend that you just get.  I am friendly, I think that I am loyal.  But, I have a ton of flaws and am easily replaceable.  The reasons that I give you might not agree with, but this is a blog about things that I am going through and how I feel about my self.  You can take the disagreements to facebook.  I am also not trying to air all of my business all over the place.  There might not be much about me me that you don't know.  But, then again there are some things that I'm not telling!

1. I am a jealous person.  If you do something for one friend and you don't do it for me, I get jealous.  Now, I don't want you to do the same thing that you did for them as me, I want you to do something equally as good.

2.  I am too darn honest.  Please stop asking me my opinion if you don't want to know the answer.  The dude you are dating, I will say he sucks.  The other friend that you have, yeah she talks about you behind your back and this is what she says.  It used to drive my mom nuts that I would do that.  I can't help it.

3. I will treat you the same as you treat me, in everything.  

4.  I will bend over backwards for you, almost to the point of breaking.  After breaking and doing so much for you, and you not returning it I really have to start asking myself if we were friends cause we were friends or you needed/used me at the time and then don't need/use me anymore.

5. I like to stay home.  I don't like to drive, I like staying at my house.  I drive a long way to work, and used to drive all over the place for work.  Please stop making me come to you.  Come to me sometimes.

6.  I have a bedtime and nighttime routine.  Yeah, Im that person, drives the hubby nuts.  I like to shower at night.  If I don't have time to do so then I will typically not come hang out or make plans if I can't have my shower time.  I also like to sleep in.

7. I miss you even when we haven't spoken or anything for years.  I will randomly think about all the good times that we had together and wonder why we still aren't having good times.

8. I have a husband and 3 dogs and hope to have kids one day.... the last part of that statement should have you going as to why I don't make a good friend.  I am busy.. if you know what I mean.

Okay this was just a blog to not blog about babies all the time.  Reading over this blog it is rather depressing.  If I do not blog before Christmas have a good one.  May all your dreams come true!  Happy Holidays!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Bells will be ringing

I have to say that a lot has happened
this year.  From August of this 

year until now, I have felt like I have been at the bottom of the fish bowl, and now I can climb my way out of it.  I have finally found a job, where I will not be laid off during the school year at some point in time.  I did have to take a pay cut, but there is a ton of room to grow.  I am happy about growth.  Because, if you know me the reason I liked Walmart is I could try out all kinds of places and not have to look for a different job.  So this job is really ideal for me.  Please wish me luck in this new adventure.

So Im not sure if I said that I did get news from the doctor, I don't have PCOS.  However, my progestin is in the low end of the normal range and Dr. M likes it to be higher so I go some progesterone.  So far so good.  Please continue to send me happy thoughts and prayers.  I appreciate them.

So, as I have been going through this journey for a year and four months, I have come to some realizations:
1: people will either want to support you or come up with reasons to leave you. 
I can understand this, it isn't easy on the hubby or I.  We can be weird about it, and crazy at the same time.  I will say out loud that I want a baby, I will stare at other people's babies (noticeably) and wonder what our kids will look like.  Hubby just wants people to know when we are doing it.  Yeah we are crazy.  If you have stuck through it with us, thank you.  We love you a ton!

2: I used to be really picky about what month our child would be born in.  Before we were really trying I would tell the hubby that there was not practicing in a certain month cause then our baby would be born in the month, and there were already enough birthday's in the month.  As we have journeyed through this I have no months to be picky about.  I will just be very grateful and excited when it comes. There are no times that are off limits for practicing, so if you call and we don't answer you can assume, we think it's funny!

3: Gender:  now Hubby and I still do not want a house full of boys, but we will take them if that is what God decides.

4: Faith... I have always been a believer, not the kind that goes to church all the time.  Just the type that he is watching and if you pray then good things will happen.  I heard in one week three or four times that God has not picked the baby for you.  Not towards me, but in different things.  Like, I heard it on a show I was watching.  Then the radio, then someone else's conversation..and a few more.  This really seemed to hold true.  We don't know why we are born into the families that we are born to, but there has to be another answer.

5: Hubby and I might be that weird couple without kids, that plan and do and rearrange our house and lives for the kids that we hope to have.  Okay you might have to hang in there for a little bit on this one so that you get the idea of what I am saying.  1st: rooms in our house, if you have come to visit us, we have a pretty big house.  When we invite friends over we always offer for them to stay, we have room and we enjoy company.  Hubby and I have already talked about kicking him out of the office space that it has so that it is a nap/baby/toy/puppy room.  Then we decided which room would house the baby, (no baby yet) we just wanna plan.  2nd: Job, which really doesn't apply for me as I am leaving my job.  The job that I had no sick time, no holiday pay, no leave, no nothing.  The one that I thought was going to advance me into being a teacher.  The one that does not pay for classes for me, but wants me to take them.  The one that will not give me a raise for it.  Then having to work all these crazy hours.  Yeah, I'm out.  I don't have time.  3rd: Hubby and I love kids.  Truly this is one of the reasons that I married him.  He has a big heart, and likes to play with kids.  Hubby is nurturing, and he is a softy... especially for brown eyed girls!  Okay, enough with that!

I want to say that I feel a lot better with this new job.  I have a renewed sense of hope, and want to celebrate the holidays now.  Now time to get the rest of my Christmas gifts and bring in the New Year!  Happy Holiday's, I'm sure we will be talking again!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Please forgive me

It has been sometime since I have blogged.  There has been a lot going on, and I haven't been able to get on here and jot down what needs to be jotted down.  That is not what I want forgiveness for.  

What I want forgiveness for is:  I'm not in the mood to celebrate the holidays this year.  Okay I have shopped and finished many things on my lists.  But, I am not in the mood to put up my decorations, to decorate my tree... none of it.  Can we put it off until next year?  I don't really want or can think of anything to want this year.  I am sorry, but I am going to be hard to buy for this year.  Unless you wanna buy me a Boxer.  

Holidays are a time to spend with family.  I think that is about the only thing that I want.  Oh and some long sleeve shirts, I don't have a lot of those.  Not sweaters, just shirts.  I would also like my phone to not right of things having to do with work.  

Speaking of work, my client called me 7 times yesterday.  7 times! not just 7 in a day, in a row.  I could not answer because I was driving and I was on my way back from a job interview.  I guess that she is one I don't have to schedule with.  I just have to show up on the day that I said and she will be ready.  I really really hope that I get the job that I interviewed for.  I am ready to leave these clients that don't keep the sessions.  I am ready to not have to drive all over and not get the pay for it.  While I would love to return to my school, I just don't think that is going to happen and in order to keep a roof over our head and some food on the table, I need to take a different offer.  

The interview that I went on was not formal at all.  She barely talked to me, and then I was headed into the classroom to play with the kids.  I hope that I answered the questions right.  I just want to get the job.  

Well if you are reading this, you should know that I sell scentsy.  And they are having a week long sale.  You should check out my sight:  Tomorrow is deals for men.  They have deals until the 7th, which is the last day.  Happy shopping if your are in the Christmas spirit!