It seems that everyone has a lot to say about me being pregnant, everyone except me. And I am not talking about the advice that I am getting from friends, I am talking about the constant asking of what am I going to do about this, and what am I going to try to get a buy. To put it this way... I simply don't know. It's my first baby, and I am not sure what I am going to need or want. I also don't know what I am having, yet. So I don't want to make lists and request things just to do it. I want to plan. I want know that I am getting the right things.
I don't want to offend anyone. But, I really want to enjoy this. I feel like I should have that right being that I have been trying, praying, asking, begging, and all around giving up a lot for this. And by this I mean pregnancy. I feel like some people are just trying to take this away, or make it all about them. I am offended by it.
I have always wanted to be honest about all of this process. And now that I have gotten here, I feel like I need to be a hermit about things. Which is not fair at all.
Baby number one is just that baby number one. Mike and I are not thinking, talking, or even making plans for baby number 2. Please stop thinking about more children for us. We want to think about this one. And we want to enjoy this one. There is no time line for number two, other than it will be at the very least 2 years from the time that this one is born. My body has been through a lot in the last 2 to 3 years and it is beginning to go through a lot more. I need to recover. My butt still hurts from shots, I need a break. Please be respectful. Let us get to the end of this, before you decide that we need another.
Maternity Clothes:
This seems to be a big topic, for whatever reason. As of yet, I don't need them. But when I do, I have a lot to think about. First I have to find clothes that are appropriate for work. I don't just want anything. I want nice clothes. These will be my clothes. I will need them from probably June till October and then beyond. As picky as I am about my clothes now, I am going to be equally picky for these clothes. I don't really let people buy me clothes, so I am not going to tell people what I want or where I am going to get it because I want to pick it out. Lets stop with this topic.
Emotions, thoughts, and everything in between:
I have a lot of anxiety over pregnancy. I don't really feel like I am an anxious person! But, I believe that when you have gone through this process and it has taken you more than 4 months then you are going to have a little bit of anxiety. I have just become comfortable with saying that I am pregnant... it only took me 3 months. My girls at work, and a few friends have helped this along. I realized that I am going to blink and it is going to be October, and my baby will be here and Ill be able to drink a coke, eat raw sushi, and have a lunch meat sandwich (all of which I am really crazing, if I am being honest). But, for now I am living in this bliss that time has someone slowed down. I am not ready to do certain things, I am just not. I don't like to talk about the baby every time I open my mouth. I also don't want to talk about what I am eating, if I am eating, and if I am gaining weight. I have a lot to worry about, I am already heavier than I think that I should be going into this, thanks to IVF, so I don't want to gain too much. I just think this: Let me enjoy this pregnancy. Let me worry about all the things, and when the baby comes I am the mom. I am going to to be the one responsible, I can do it. If God, or whoever didn't think that I could, than I wouldn't be here. Lets let this rest for a while!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment