Testing, Testing, 1. 2. 3. I'm tired of this

Another year has come and gone, (if you are counting for months wise we are almost out of the running to have a baby in 2015 too.) and the holidays are now over.  I have never been so thankful to see Christmas come and go, mainly go.  I was not in the spirit for it this year.  I didn't have lots of money, and I didn't have a little person so it made them so not fun.

Have you ever thought about what life would be like when you neared 30?  I'm sure that you have.  I am sure that it looked a lot different that you imagined it.  I am sure that you dream it differently.  I for one have dreamed it much different.  Some of it is the same, but some of it is not.

What's the same... Married, Puppies, house, car, freinds.

What's different...

Career: I thought that I would be a teacher by now.  As my current career move will allow me to do so, I am no longer so far off.  How far can this job take me?  Im not sure.  But I am willing to go as far as I need to.  

Where I live: So I dreamed that I would live some place where we get a lot of snow.  I love snow.  I love the beach.  So I guess that VA is an okay place to be because we have snow, I'd just like some more.

Babies: Yep, thought that I would have at least one by now.  And I really thought that this entire process would be easier.  In being a human pin cushion I am able to get a blood draw on my own, without the hubby.  I no longer have as much anxiety about going to the dr, because I pretty much know that when I go there they are going to stick me.  

I just wish that I had an answer.  I feel like this is taking too much time.  I understand that I have this process that I have to follow, but honestly I don't know how much more of this "process" I can take.  The result is the same.  If this time doesn't work guess what I get??  More testing....  oh and the hubby gets to go get some testing done.  This is insane.  I am going crazy.  I try so hard not to think about it every waking second.  There are so many people pregnant at my daycare that I am wishing that there is something in the water.  I try not to give them weird glances.  And I am with kids all day so that is hard.  Honestly I just want another dog.  I know that I can have that, and I don't have to try and be tested and pray that it will work.  I can just find one and love it and squeeze it.  


Yeah it is just hard.  Wish me some more luck.  And here is to turing 30!