Thursday, April 21, 2016
A mind that doesn't rest
I tend to be very critical and hard on myself. I try not be hard on myself, but it doesn't seem that I can let up. I'm also trying not to dwell on things. But, sometimes I can't stop that either.
Life is always evolving, always moving. But, sometimes I'd like it to stop both of these a slow down. I didn't think that life was going fast until I hit 30. (Yes, I know it hasn't been a year... but it has been a long year.) Anyways. I was trying not to head down the depressing rode, of not being able to conceive that I usually go to. (It's always on my restless mind, from baby dreams, to thinking of what I am going to name my kids.. it is never ending.) But I honestly have other thoughts than just those, they just never seem to service.
I have been on a diet (minus my friends wedding this past weekend, Congratulations to them by the way!! <3) for about 2 weeks. In those 2 weeks, I have lost 5 lbs. It has been hard. And I have said that I want to lose about 20lbs by July. Which, if you have ever tired to be on a diet and lose it is really really hard. I quickly ate so much fish that I am tired of it. And I am slowly getting tired of eating chicken. The problem is the Hubz is on a diet too, however he is doing nutrasystem. So he doesn't eat what I eat. And work is one giant struggle. We work next to Chickfila and the smell comes through our building. I feel like I smell it and gain back what I would lose. Oh, and there is the fact that I just can't seem to drink water. I don't like the taste of it. So, I try to flavor it with Crystal Light, but that is 5 calories every time I do it, on top of whatever I am consuming in the day. Which has really been a lot less. But I haven't been tracking. This is simple, in order to lose weight reduce your calorie intake and get moving. Yeah...
I really just want to eat a Cheeseburger and hope that I don't gain 5lbs. But, I'm trying very hard not to give up. Anything that you can do to encourage me would be great. I have to keep on keeping on.