Disappeared

So, I'm back to daily appointments, even though the RE Nurse said that I wouldn't be daily.  It's almost over, so I guess that I will be able to handle it.  I can say that this time around, I'm really tired.  A good night's sleep would be great, but being able to sleep in would be the icing on the cake.  

I had a pesky little cyst that seemed to be getting bigger.  Saying that I was worried would be an understatement.  But, today like magic it seemed to be gone.  And I was having some stomach cramps last night.  

I just keep telling myself that this is almost over.  They did give me the paperwork for the egg retrieval yesterday, and that is usually when things get close.  My biggest egg is a 13 and it needs to get to a 17.  I'm so hopeful.  These puppies need to grow, and then they need to do what they do outside my body.  

Last time we called my eggs our baby birds, birds lay eggs and then the eggs become birds.  I am still very attached to the birds concepts, with feathers and all.  I will not change that.  But, this time around we have decided that the eggs are puppies.  And this is because if you know me very well you know my love for dogs.  How, I always want another one.  So, the thought process, is if we call them puppies the we will have a 2 legged puppy.  (Do not contact me saying that you have a real 2 legged puppy that I need to adopt, I am actually talking about a human, and saying that it is a puppy.)  

On IVF round one, Abby our boxer was a nervous wreck.  We thought that were were panicked, but nothing could compare to her.  Boxer butt would destroy my house, she didn't sleep well, there were countless things that I could name that she would do.  This time we decided that she would be part of the process.  As long as she is good.  So Abby has become my shot buddy.  She lays on the bed and comforts me during the shots.  And you may think that it would be crazy, but it is actually nice having 70lbs of comfort to distract you.  There is much space left on my belly that has not been needle stabbed.  They are becoming painful.  So when she smothers my face with hers it is actually nice.  I think that she is pretending that I am her puppy.  The world will never know.  

I am so optimistic this time around.  I know that the main goal is a pregnancy, but I have another main goal.  Enough embryos that are viable and can be frozen.  They mean more tries and at less of the cost.  I still don't understand how this can cost so much and how insurance can provide so little.  Don't they know that 1 and 8 have some type of fertility issue?  I really think that that number should be higher, because I know several people (not just ones I have met on facebook or instagram) but real live people that have fertility issues.  Maybe it is just something that god or whoever knows that we will struggle with so he pulls us together?  I'm not sure.  But I know that I need you all.  Again I bid you love and baby dust.