Saturday, July 9, 2016
One week update!
I wanted to give you an update on my week with Lupron. And Lord, I feel like I have been on it much longer than a week. So, unlike most people I have not had any hot flashes. But, I do really want to eat a plate full of french fries every single day. I haven't, but I do want to. Speaking of food and such. I have not done well on a gluten/dairy free diet. I tried really hard, I got sick and have since tried to limit both, but have not cut them out completely. On Tuesday of this week, which happened to be my grandma's 70th birthday, I got food poisoning. Let me tell you , that it is not fun AT all. I still had to do my shots, and do my IVF thing. But, doing it with no food coming in really really sucks!!
I gave myself my very first shot. My hubs didn't want to get out of bed, and so I did it. I thought that I could do it again after one time. I have not been able to repeat the process. Also, some notes on shots: Wake your husband up fully before administering the shot, otherwise he will play darts on your belly and you will bleed and bruise. Also eventually you are going to run out of good space to place a needle, you may need to move over just a bit. Oh and keep track of which side you are on. Such as, odd days left side; even days right side. We have lost count and just hope for the best.
I lasted the 14 days on BCP. I don't really know how I did. I wanted to punch people most days. It is hard to keep an even temperament on those devil pills. You would think that people would learn that you can't keep it together and so they would stop trying. They don't. On Lupron I just feel like a mess. The shots make me sleepy, I don't have much energy. And it doesn't take much to make me say that I need some sleep. I have been falling asleep early and waking in the middle of the night. And no I am not well rested.
I feel much like Aurora in Sleeping Beauty, pretty much in a slumber filled coma, in which I wake from daily. But, the end result is something that I want very much, I just have to get there.
IVF round 2 has been nothing short than another emotional roller coaster; not that I thought that it would be different. I'm just very hopeful that this one will turn out much different.
It is hard for me to put on a brave face daily and just face life. Sometimes when people ask me, I just don't want to talk about it. And sometimes when people ask me I just say it all. I have no problem telling my story, but sometimes I am just done telling it. Like I want this chapter in the book to be over. I want a new fresh page. Then, I think, well I am lucky that I have a chapter to write. And this is a part of me. Fertility is a thing. So many couples go through it. My tiredness is getting to me, so I am going to go have a snack and lay down for a nap. Love and Baby dust.