Dear Baby Stine (Life)

Dear Baby Stine;

I wanted to write to you about some things in life, because last night I couldn't sleep thinking about them.  I may have wrote to you about these things before but, never-the-less  I think that I needed to say it again to you.  I want to first tell you about the song that inspired this; "Life isn't always beautiful" by Gary Allen.  Let me tell you a little bit about it.  First, your Dad will probably never hear this song, only because he doesn't like country music.. I hope to instill a love of all music in you; its how your dad and I connected.  Second; Gary Allen wrote this song after his wife died.  I know that this is a hard topic, but I think that the song is very important.  It is the meaning on the song that makes it great.  "Life isn't always beautiful; but it's a beautiful ride."

Life: your state of being.  When I was 14, a freshman in high school, I though a little bit about life after high school.  I did okay in school, but I wasn't the best.  During the summer between freshman and sophomore year, I decided that I wanted to go to college and become a teacher.  That is when I developed a plan, I would press really hard to get the best grades I could, graduate from high school and then go right into college.   Become a teacher at 21, get married at 23 and have babies and life happily ever after.  Please pump the breaks right here; life does not work that way.

Oh baby; life will work.  Your mom made some dumb mistakes during that sophomore year.  I dated a boy (not your Dad), that said college was for dummies and I didn't need it.  (This should have been where I let my many watchings of Matilda kick in. This is a movie that you will watch.  Miss Honey is having a conversation with Matilda's parents about her being smart and that they needed to start on the path to college.  The Wormwood's ((Matilda's Parents)) insult Miss Honey by saying that a girl like Matilda doesn't need college because she has looks.  Miss Honey talks about them needing Dr's and Lawyers that would be college educated.. you get it).  I went back to being so so in school.  It wasn't until I broke up with this dude and started dating your Dad that I realized the errors of my ways and it was a little late.  Then I couldn't get into a 4 year school.  I really had to work hard, basically I had to get my associates degree.  And then I didn't graduate from college until I was 24.  And I didn't get married until I was 26.  And I will still working on you.  

What I am saying is it will work.  You just have to keep working at it.  I have to tell myself that all the time.  But, what I am also trying to tell you is: don't let a single person get in the way of your dreams and goals.  Make the dream and goal and go after it.  That is your life, not theirs.  If they love you they are going to help you get there.  That is how you know what love truly is.  And it doesn't have to be romantic love, it can be friendship love or any kind of love.  People who love you see you through.

Baby one more thing: talking about people who love you.  Blood does not ALWAYS equal love.  (I will love you no matter what, I promise!)  There will come a time where you find people in your life who will do something that is so kind and you didn't realize that they loved you, or even thought about you.  There will also be family that will act as your family and then they will turn a blind eye to you.  There will be family that will shock you, don't forget them.  People will pick you up when you are down, they are not always your family.  People will kick you when you are down, they can be your family.  I learned all this way too late.  I have a trusting heart.  I trust people not hurt me and then they do.  They really do.  I am sure that you will meet some of the people that I am talking about.  I will tell you.  I will tell you about friends that your Mom has that did a great act of kindness and told me about their babies before I just had to find out on facebook.  I will tell you about one family member that did the same thing, and how wonderful it was to know.  I will tell you about the family that just let you find out the hard way.  I will tell you how the have no regard for your feelings.  

Life: what a beautiful thing.