Saturday, February 18, 2017

I have a lot to say

I don't often have a ton to say about different things.  I like to keep things simple, I talk about fertility/infertility, IVF, babies, and at times really random things about some different things to come to mind.  Sometimes, I guess I do have a lot to say.  Many things are hard to say, I don't pretend that anything is easy.  Sometimes what comes to mind is like this: you are on a diet, but you really want a cheeseburger, you can imagine everything that is on that damn burger, and your mouth even waters over it.  But, you can't have it.  You can't cheat on your diet, you have to stay the course.  That is how my thoughts are today.  I have to stay the course.  

I don't really want to.  I am angry and I just want to say my peace.  I am over this situation and I don't want it to happen any more.  So, instead of what I truly mean to say, I'll just go with some facts and statistics.

Alcohol is the most commonly used addictive substance in the United States:17.6 million people, or one in every 12 adults, suffer from alcohol abuse or dependence along with several million more who engage in risky, binge drinking patterns that could lead to alcohol problems.

noun: alcoholism
  1. an addiction to the consumption of alcoholic liquor or the mental illness and compulsive behavior resulting from alcohol dependency.

These two facts are pretty staggering.  17.6 million people is a lot.  And I'm sure that there are many more that are undocumented.

When I first began dating my Hubs (it is weird to say that I was dating my hubs, like he was my hubs before my hubs), I used to hate the fact that he would have a beer here and there.  You see much of my life I was told that alcohol was really bad. My grandma was and alcoholic and she used to be really mean, I am told this story a lot; she is old now but it still haunts her.  Anyways, I used to get on him all the time, telling him that he didn't need to do it.  He tried for a long time to change my mind.  

Hubs changed my mind around my 20th birthday, maybe a little before that.  Plus I had a friend that was old enough to drink legally and she was a ton of fun to be around.  We would have get-to-gethers with friends, where we would collect keys, and then hang out until 2 or 3 in the morning.  Being that young was fun.  

When I went off to college at 21, that changed.  I stopped doing that.  I would rather be someone's driver or the sober one at the party.  I won't say that I never drank, but it lost its funess, and I didn't see the need to do it all the time.  Also around this time I found out that my grandma had been lying for sometime and even though she was in pretty poor health she had been smoking, or never really stopped.  I spent I think the first month away at college not talking to her.  I would call my grandparents house and ONLY talk to my Pappy.  I was so angry with her.  She was doing this to herself and I really didn't understand.  

I know realize that she traded on addiction for another.  My grandma really never got help for whatever made her drink that heavy in the past, so she traded drinking for cigarettes.  Her health has gotten pretty bad sense then.  

I'd like to sit here and tell you that I don't really have any addictions, but considering that is what I come from, I am pretty sure that I do.  It could be something simple, or something complex I really don't know.  I don't feel like I have it, but I'm sure that I do.  I'm not perfect, no one is.  

I think that addiction is a part of many peoples lives.  If you watch "Intervention" on T.V. than you know that it does.  But, you really don't need to watch that show to know.  I go to church and I hear about it all the time.  It's at work too.  

Anyways, I guess that I did have a lot to say.  So here it is.  There is my lot to say.

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